People Pleasers Anonymous
Do you feel like you have an addiction to "People Pleasing"? I never labelled myself as a "people pleaser," because I thought, I am comfortable with who I am and confident enough not to care what people think. I don't need people to "like what I do" in order to be happy.
Or do I?
As an entrepreneur and a sociable person, of course I enjoy putting smiles on people's faces. I strive for positive feedback from customers, clients, friends, family and co-workers. I like doing a good job and for people to know that I'm caring and a hard worker. Sometimes these goals can easily be stretched towards chasing the applause and people pleasing instead of just "doing a great job."
I have always wanted to be "liked," and having my own business is all about people "liking" my brand enough to buy it. So where do we draw the line between "people pleasing" behaviors and being successful? As someone who has always struggled with a "people pleasing addiction," I can offer a firsthand experience of when I have "relapsed" into old behaviors.
People Pleasing feels like...
" If I don't go above and beyond, I will let everyone down,"
"I don't have time to look after myself, I have too much to do!"
"What will people think if I take this opportunity,"
"I can't do whatis best for me, I have to worry about what he/she/they will want."
"They won't look at me the same if I make that kind of change in my life,"
"People expect me to do this, there's no way I could attempt that,"
"I need to save the day, it will make her/him happy,"
All of these thoughts are putting other people's happiness, approval and well-being before our own. This is not healthy and people may "like"you, but liking doesn't always equal respect. Other people "liking" what we do also does not guarantee our own happiness or self-fulfillment.
Here are a few other signs you have been "people pleasing":
-feelings of depression, chronic fatigue, decreased motivation, feeling of burnout
-unsatisfied with your work, career or direction of your business
-that you can't please everyone (of course you can't!)
-every time you make a decision you immediately think of how it will effect everyone else before you think about what will make YOU ultimately happy
So How Do We Break The Cycle?
Stop looking for advice from everyone else before you take time to mull over decisions alone. When we immediately ask others for opinions before thinking about our own we can be thrown into a frenzy of impulsive decisions based on what other people think is "best".
Plan your schedule and be honest with yourself about how much "more" you can handle. Stick to the commitments you make for yourself and your own priorities first. Then you can decide where other peoples's "needs" can fit in around your own life.
Stop feeling guilty for taking care of yourself. Many of us struggle with feeling "happy". I know it sounds crazy, but we can often get stuck in an unhealthy mindset in which we believe we have to struggle and earn our right to happiness and success. Guess what? When you are doing the things you love and aren't overworked, you are the BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF and will PEOPLE LIKE IT! Everyone will win!
Hope this post was helpful to a few of you out there! Not only entrepreneurs struggle with these feelings, that's for sure!
Kelsey
Or do I?
As an entrepreneur and a sociable person, of course I enjoy putting smiles on people's faces. I strive for positive feedback from customers, clients, friends, family and co-workers. I like doing a good job and for people to know that I'm caring and a hard worker. Sometimes these goals can easily be stretched towards chasing the applause and people pleasing instead of just "doing a great job."
I have always wanted to be "liked," and having my own business is all about people "liking" my brand enough to buy it. So where do we draw the line between "people pleasing" behaviors and being successful? As someone who has always struggled with a "people pleasing addiction," I can offer a firsthand experience of when I have "relapsed" into old behaviors.
People Pleasing feels like...
" If I don't go above and beyond, I will let everyone down,"
"I don't have time to look after myself, I have too much to do!"
"What will people think if I take this opportunity,"
"I can't do whatis best for me, I have to worry about what he/she/they will want."
"They won't look at me the same if I make that kind of change in my life,"
"People expect me to do this, there's no way I could attempt that,"
"I need to save the day, it will make her/him happy,"
All of these thoughts are putting other people's happiness, approval and well-being before our own. This is not healthy and people may "like"you, but liking doesn't always equal respect. Other people "liking" what we do also does not guarantee our own happiness or self-fulfillment.
Here are a few other signs you have been "people pleasing":
-feelings of depression, chronic fatigue, decreased motivation, feeling of burnout
-unsatisfied with your work, career or direction of your business
-that you can't please everyone (of course you can't!)
-every time you make a decision you immediately think of how it will effect everyone else before you think about what will make YOU ultimately happy
So How Do We Break The Cycle?
Stop looking for advice from everyone else before you take time to mull over decisions alone. When we immediately ask others for opinions before thinking about our own we can be thrown into a frenzy of impulsive decisions based on what other people think is "best".
Plan your schedule and be honest with yourself about how much "more" you can handle. Stick to the commitments you make for yourself and your own priorities first. Then you can decide where other peoples's "needs" can fit in around your own life.
Stop feeling guilty for taking care of yourself. Many of us struggle with feeling "happy". I know it sounds crazy, but we can often get stuck in an unhealthy mindset in which we believe we have to struggle and earn our right to happiness and success. Guess what? When you are doing the things you love and aren't overworked, you are the BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF and will PEOPLE LIKE IT! Everyone will win!
Hope this post was helpful to a few of you out there! Not only entrepreneurs struggle with these feelings, that's for sure!
Kelsey
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